When the Calling is Bigger than our Desires #parenting #homeschooling #faith

by Lori on January 9, 2013

What do you do when you feel a strong calling to take a HUGE LEAP out of your comfort zone and do something you never thought you would do?

That is what I am facing right now.

It has been many years for me since I have “heard God’s calling” in a major decision in my life. First was accepting Christ as Savior Next was following in the steps of baptism. Most recently it was being called to lead our Kindergarten and 1st grade groups at church.

Those things seems so small(even though I know they are not) compared to what I am feeling called to do right now.

For those that do not know, my daughter was attacked at school in February 2012. She was a 3rd grader. A girl, shoved her to the ground and then choked her. This happened in the classroom before school “officially” started. The teachers were out in the hall welcoming students. Other students ran for help as others tried to pull this girl off my daughter.

This attack shook my daughter to her core. As it would anyone. I have never been so angry. So scared for her. But mainly so angry that this could happen at a place I thought was safe for my child.

I was wrong.

With recent events happening, such as the mass shooting at Sandy Hook, our children are not as safe as we think they are. I know I can not protect them from everything but at a school, they should feel safe. My daughter, felt safe. She felt like this was one of the few places she would be protected. We were wrong on so many levels. The school treated this as a incident and not a “bully”. The girl who did this was in ISS, writing my daughter a letter apologizing…..we never got that letter. It was NOTHING to them. I was contacted after the marks on her neck were gone. Hours after it happened, and my the school nurse. A principal could not even take time out of their day to call me to tell me my daughter had been attacked.

My heart was broken. How could I ask my daughter to return to a place where she had been attacked at? I have no idea how I could, but I did. It was rough on all of us. After threatening media attention and a lawyer, they finally removed the girl from my daughters class before her return.

We are coming up in the year anniversary on her attack and all I can think about is keeping my kids home, each and every day. More so now after the tragedy at Sandy Hook. Why do I send them to a place that deep down, I know they are not 100% safe?

Ever since that day in February, my heart has been dark. It has been sad and felt so alone. I prayed. Dear Lord I prayed more than I have ever prayed in my whole life.

And each time I prayed, I just asked God to SHOW me what I NEED to do. I think he gave me little glimpse into what I need to do, but I did not want to see those. I thought, “God you are nuts!”

The more he showed me what to do, the more nervous and reluctant I got.  I really thought he had lost his mind. What he was telling me to do was not something I wanted. Not even close. And not that I do not love my kids with all my heart, but the thought of being with them 24/7 was enough to send me into a panic attack. Let alone TEACH them.

How was I, a mom who only has a High School Diploma and a few college courses under her belt, going to teach her children what they need to learn to make it in this world?

How?

The better question was WHY can’t I?

I am their mom. I know them inside and out. They are apart of me as much as I am apart of them.

God wasn’t crazy after all. I was for thinking that I couldn’t do this. That I wasn’t capable of protecting my kids and giving them the education they deserve.

The title of this blog post is simple. God’ Calling can be much more than our own Desires. Even if we feel like we can not handle it, we do not want to do something….if God says yes…you can do it.

Am I scared? You bet your behind I am. I am terrified. What if I screw my kids up? What if they do not have fun? What if I am not as smart as I think I am?

My only comfort is know that I have faith. Faith in the Lord who has lead me this direction and he would NOT lead me on a path I could not handle.

Faith in Ourselves

Faith in Ourselves

So, as I allow the kids to finish out this school year at their schools and I prepare myself for a year of teaching them I ask for prayers. Prayer for myself. Prayers for my husband. Prayer for my children. I also ask for prayers for the teachers and students in public schools.

How have you let God call you to do something that was never apart of your wants?

 

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Courtney January 9, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Reading this brought tears to my eyes. You will do amazing, and so will the kiddos!! I have a feeling this will be the start of something great!!!

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Lori January 9, 2013 at 6:48 pm

Thank you so much Courtney!

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leanne January 9, 2013 at 7:38 pm

I am excited for you! Can’t wait to follow your journey 🙂

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Renea January 10, 2013 at 10:30 am

A Great Calling. And. A huge sacrifice. For your kids. I thinks its. Wonderful. Remember. This Bible verse. To help you when you get weary. Nehemiah. 6:3
I am doing a great work. And I cannot come down. Say this over your children. And. Any work you do for our lord and saviour. Prayers and blessing. To you and your family. Amen! !

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Rachel @RunningRachel January 12, 2013 at 11:21 am

Yes! Yes! Yes!

All.The.Time!

Actually MORe recently… I have decided to homeschool my children (7, 5, 3 – 1st grade, pre-K, preschool). This decision was from the LORD’s constant prompting on my heart also. Now… I have PEACE! <3
Rachel @RunningRachel´s last blog post ..Handstand Friday Fun!

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Kristal February 16, 2013 at 11:41 pm

We have been home schooling our daughter since 1st grade. We sent her to a school down the street which seemed fine the first year. But then the next year kids were starting to get a bit out of control. I think it was after one of the big hurricanes. It was a public school in Houston / Spring Branch. I went to school in Houston myself and while I did get a decent education, I am also well aware of the many distractions that can influence a child. I want my child’s mind to be clear. We have also used a private school for a couple of years, but even there, the distractions can get in the way. We have opted to use a homeschool group in Houston Rice Area, called Home-ED plus, where she will go to class up to 2 times a week. This way she does get some interactions. We also have her in Gymnastics and a church night out. Good luck with yours.
Kristal´s last blog post ..Anyone looking for Invisalign in Houston that would like some tips or tricks read on

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